Today is the day before Easter...the day my sister went away. It's a day filled with somewhat of a numbness and a sadness. I remember getting the news. We had been at an Easter egg hunt out at the Mendez Farm, same as this year. We were completely exhausted so we came home to nap. Not too long into our nap my phone vibrated. I decided to get to it later. Then Victor's phone vibrated, then mine again. I decided I should check my phone. I listened to a message from my mom who was crying but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I knew something bad had happened. I also got a missed call from my dad. I called him to see what was going on. He told me the news that my sweet sister had taken her life.........I screamed, waking my daughter from her nap. I was in shock. I was numb. I couldn't believe what I just heard. It was a surreal day.
I'm not sure why I went but I'm glad I made the decision to go to our church's Easter service that evening. Let me tell you why. We got there late so we were seated in the overflow room. It was more private and dark since we were watching the message and music on a screen. It was okay to cry. Sometime during the service a young lady started to sing. I distinctly remember her voice sounding so sweet...like an angel's. Then I heard God speak to my heart. It wasn't out loud but it just as well could have been. The message from Him was clear and just what I needed to hear...Mary is singing this before Me this very moment. The lyrics say "You make all things, all things new.." Towards the end of the song it says "I know the view is brighter here where I can see" YES! Mary CAN finally see. She was in so much pain for the previous 2 years and she could never see what her friends, family and most importantly what God saw in her. Her beauty, her worth. No one on this earth was like Mary. She was magnetic, energetic, strikingly beautiful, and was your biggest fan if you had the pleasure of knowing her. I know she is WHOLE and HEALED and more ALIVE than she has ever been right now. Oh, how I wish she could have found that healing here where I can hug and kiss her. Where we could have raised our children together. This had been my most earnest prayer the 2 years leading up to this dreadful day. I don't have all the answers but I know my God to be GOOD and FAITHFUL and TRUE to his promises. I rest in that.
The day after Good Friday. The day before Easter. The day between the two. A sad day for the disciples many years ago too. They had just lost their closest friend, teacher, brother. An emptiness, a numbness, deep sorrow and grief...I'm familiar with those feelings. But a JOY deep inside starts to well up in me because I am certain of what I do not see. HE is no longer in the grave. JESUS IS ALIVE! He has conquered the grave. Death has no grip on Him. And this is the HOPE for all those that believe. Though Mary had her tribulations and struggles I truly believe that she knew and believed God and is now free from all that caused her great pain. One day I will see her again. No more sorrow, no more tears, no more!
Thank you Lord Jesus for your sacrifice on my behalf and on the behalf of the whole world. You are the perfect Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. You took our place.
But the story didn't end on Friday. Sunday came with a bang. You conquered death once and for all by raising to life. I know you are alive. I feel your life within me. All my hope is in You. Thank you Jesus. Thank you.
"Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?...
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" 1 Cor. 15:55,56
The other day my mom and I heard the sweet chirping of a bird very close by. I was afraid one had gotten into our home and was stuck somewhere inside. Victor discovered that a momma bird had actually made a nest in my flower plant on the porch just outside our front door! I've been waiting in anticipation for the eggs to be laid. I am so excited that a little birdy would chose my flowers as a home for her little baby birdies and Maddie is filled with excitement too!
